The 3rd Message

Right as I was about to walk away from my answering machine, the third message came on which made me stop in my tracks. Winston's voice came onto the machine. He sounded frantic.
"Will! It's Winston! You've gotta come to my house quick! Or just call me back, but either way it's an extreme emergency! I just took the biggest dump known to mankind! You have to come take a look at this thing!!!!"
The message ended, and I broke out in a nervous cold sweat. Had he already flushed it? Had he taken it out of the bowl? How old was the message? I picked up my phone as fast as I could and called him back.
"Dude!" I said, "Is it still there??!!"
"Get over here now!" he replied.
I sprinted out of my house in just my shirt and my boxers (because I had been in the middle of changing out of my work clothes), I jumped in my car, and I sped off to Winston's house as fast as I could. I was doing 30 over the speed limit the whole way there.
In the midst of my driving a cop pulled me over for speeding. I was panic-stricken.
"Sir, do you realize how fast you were going?" he asked.
I quickly explained the situation to him.
"HOLY SH*T!" he responded!
"Indeed!" I exclaimed, and the cop jumped in the car with me and we drove over to Winston's.
When we got there we jumped out of the car and sprinted through the front door of Winston's house, which was already open. Gabby was sitting on the couch of the living room, shaking her head which was resting in her hands. There was a croud of men piling out of the bathroom in the back of the house. Me and the cop pushed our way through the crowd until we reached the toilet. Winston was standing next to it, smiling and nodding with pride.
"Woooow," was all that I could muster.
It was amazing.
That night, I had a better night's sleep than I had ever had in my life.